Resolutions for 2019

A year has gone by in a blink of an eye and with the end of 2018 is brought forth a new year to look forward to. During this time of the year, people get excited about the idea of turning a new page and rewriting themselves with new goals to better themselves and to outperform their past self. With this also comes some vague sense of deja vu where you then remember you had that same exact thought last year and so, before making new resolutions, I propose we retrospect on our previous resolutions to see just how far we've come and set our new resolutions in a way that best fits us.

Honestly, I had completely forgotten about my own resolutions until just recently when I stumbled on my old blog post and even though I went in reading it awaiting to have completely flopped on my resolutions, I was pleasantly surprised to see I had set them just realisitic enough for me to go through them without having to give them a conscious thought through out the year.

I am a genius! or maybe just awfully lucky...

Anyways, seeing that my last year's idea stood well with me, I will base my 2019 resolutions in the same fashion I did those of 2018. Instead of reaching an ideal milestone, I will only ask of myself to make steps towards it. This way, even if I don't reach the milestones I've set for myself, I can still feel content with myself for at least making an effort towards it. Personally speaking, setting my own goals in such way also helps with my mental attitude in a way since instead of feeling a failure for not meeting unrealistic goals, I feel proud of even the slightest step I take. Anyways, before I start naming my new resolutions, let's take a quick look to last year's resolutions!

-Work in a more responsible manner: Despite feeling like I held well onto this resolution, I must confess that things quickly went downhill starting about August since I had to completely reorganize my priorities which meant I had to let down some people and projects along the way. I sincerely feel bad for having let down people because of this and definitely have learned to not over schedule ahead of myself. At least I feel like I managed to minimize the damages my decisions had and powered through this storm of responsabilities..!

-Grow up a bit: I think I definitely managed to really filter those bursts of toxicity I used to have. Even though I might still get very upset and frustrated at times, but at least I don't feel like I'm bringing outsiders down with me which for me is already a big improvement! Private matters should stay private, ya feel?

-Remember what really matters: During 2017, I really grinded the youtaite way and for 2018 I really wanted to re-center myself around art and my goals to become a mangaka, and honestly, I feel like I really slayed this resolutions(LOL;;). To the point many subscribers came to me saying they were sad to see I had quit singing which really I didn't but it just happened to be that this year I didn't get a chance to post nothing much-(DON'T WORRY, MANY COLLABS ARE ON THEIR WAY!! They're full of love and dedication therefore take a long time to work on that's all 8'D). But yeah, Not only did I manage to really develop and improve a lot on my stories and my art style, I was also commissioned a few times to do some manga commissions which was a great practice towards my goals. This resolution is the biggest success to me.

And this was my 2018 resolution and a review of how well I managed to keep onto them. Now, to move to 2019's resolutions. I was definitely thinking about keeping the same type of resolutions as last year since it's all about self-improving and honestly, I can do with a bit more self improving 8'D...

2019 is a year that promises to be very busy for me since for the first time in my life I will be living by myself, in a foreign country, and trying to live off my own money as much as possible. In other words, it will be my first big-boi step into adulthood, and also my first big-boi step towards my dreams. I can't afford to be irresponsible about this as this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me.

With that, a resolution I will give myself is

-Improve my Japanese and try out the JLPT: Starting April this year, ya boi is going to study abroad in Japan which means I will get the best chances to quickly improve my language ability. Of course, I can't just hope to improve with time, I must put in effort in my studies while there. So, I figured I would also make the best of it and also attend the JLPT for the first time. I would always be hesitant to take the test in the past, not because I wasn't confident, but because I knew that only N2+ documents are actually relevant for living in Japan so spending money on lower levels tests felt a bit unuseful for me. As much as I would like to achieve a lot more than just N1, I feel like N2 for now would be a more reasonable goal for myself, specially for this year at least. I want to be careful with aiming any higher since I must keep in mind that as much as I go there "just to study" I'll also have to work to pay my living expenses and you know, all that other stuff of 'adulting' 8'D

Point: my goal isn't to pass the exam. My goal is to know as much as possible.

-Work responsibly: This time I want to be able to asses my situation a lot more maturely and responsibly.manage my time well when I do have some. Sadly, since time has now began running out for me, I need to minimise what I do 'for fun' and what I do that can bring me to closer to my goals. This means that I might still be inactive on youtube for the next year or two...I haven't quit singing, I swear TT I'm still here-- in mind;; I just need work on what's prioritary first, and then see from there just how much I can dedicate time to other projects. Be able to decline or quit a project when I see I can't fit it in my schedule, and Last year's events were completely unexpected and sadly brought me to my biggest short-coming in my resolutions but hopefully I can learn from this and be wiser about projects, at least at the best of my abilities. My pride held onto my sense of responsibility so much that in the end, I just caused problems and wasted people's time.

-Positive Mental Attitude: This one is a bit of a continuity to last year's "Grow up a bit" resolution. Despite having a better control over my mouth, now I want to be able to minimise these toxic thoughts. I want to be overall a more positive person that way I don't have to deal with internalised toxicity which after a while gets very unhealthy. I want to be able to see the positive in things before I see the negative. It might be a bit challenging at the beginning but hopefully, surrounding myself with the right people and the right environments, I can make it happen. In order to really improve my thought process though, I will probably clean anything that can trigger dark thoughts in me, specially on social medias since that has been one of the biggest sources of toxicity for me.

-Never forget what's really matters:

Last year, this resolution was an absolute success and so I absolutely want to continue enforcing this resolution on myself. I am so close to my goals this year and so I can't afford to lose sight of them right now. As much as I will probably be busy working during my free time, knowledge is also a big part of my goal. As long as I am studying and learning, I'm growing closer to my goal. It would be nice to get some progress on any series during the year but only if time allows me to get to it.

If you wonder why I must emphasise this so much, it's because I know that I sometimes forget how important language skills is to my goal, and if by any chances I come back to this blog post later this year, I want to make sure I remember that I'm not stalling, I'm just improving on another domain which is just as important as drawing and story writing. (Thus why I call this resolution 'never forget what's really important')

With this, I start this year with a mixture of eagerness and anxiousness to face what is coming to me. In no ways am I not looking forward to the events it has prepared though. Lets attack this year with a brave heart and open arms, making the best of what we have, and what we'll get. I hope all the best to each one of you.

Never forget what drives you to achieve higher and better,

Happy New Year!